Do you think you are suffering from self-hatred? Are you always doubting yourself? If yes, then you have come to the right place to overcome this issue! One of the most common things people face these days is imposter syndrome. Have you heard about it? So, what is imposter syndrome? Here is your answer! Simply put, it can be defined as the feeling of doubt about your own abilities and thinking that you are a fraud. Sometimes, high achieving people might face this because they don’t accept their achievements and feel that everything happened to them by fluke. They question if they really deserve the accolades or not. If this is something you relate to, you can avail yourself my spiritual counseling online seminars and know more about yourself. I can also help you understand how to stop negative self-talk. 

Also, you can follow these tips to combat self-hatred:

  • Take Small Steps:

    One of the most important things to do is to take baby steps. You should not think about changing yourself or your thought pattern in one day. However, you can decide that you will think about one good thing in your life the moment a negative thought crosses your mind. If you start this practice, you will start noticing small changes within a few days. 

  • Practice Positive-Talk With Yourself:

    Positive-talk is a very powerful tool. You can start a practice of going in front of the mirror in the morning and telling yourself “I am beautiful” or you can simply say “I love you” to yourself. In the beginning, you might find the practice weird but once you start doing it, you will notice positive effects on your self-esteem. 

  • Do Things That Make You Happy:

    Sometimes, spending time doing things that you like also helps in combating self-hatred. We get busy making others happy and working for others all day and night. But if you can take a step back, stop, and think about the things you like, it will recharge your energy levels and make you happy. You can start with 15 minutes per day or 30 minutes per day. Go take a walk in nature, play with your pet, meditate, go for a dance class or do anything that makes you happy. 

  • Accept Compliments Open-Heartedly:

    Accepting compliments wholeheartedly is also an important practice. Many times, we tend to say negative things as a reply when someone gives us a compliment for our cooking, our looks, or any other thing that we do. This will again make you fall into the trap of not trusting yourself and self-hatred. So, the next time someone says that the food you cooked is delicious, just accept the compliment with an open heart and believe them. Once you start this practice, you will notice that you have more trust in yourself and the things that you do. 

what is imposter syndrome

Where Does The Feeling Of Self-Hatred Stem From?

The feeling of self-hatred usually originates from the experiences of rejection that a person goes through in their familial ties, especially from childhood. The way a person treats himself/herself comes mainly from two influences:

  • How Parents Or Other Influential Caregivers Saw Us In Childhood

Our self-perception is greatly influenced by how our parents or other close people on whom we were depended in the initial years of our lives saw us. Human beings learn to see themselves and treat themselves as they were seen and treated in the first few stages of their lives. Thus, if their attitudes towards us were of rejection, in the same way, we will build the image we have of ourselves since the negative attitudes directed against children end up being internalized by them. On the contrary, healthy and reinforcing attitudes that we were exposed to during the first few years of our lives by our parents and caregivers usually reinforce our self-esteem and self-confidence.

  • How Our Parents Or Other Influential Caregivers Saw Themselves

Parents’ own attitudes toward themselves are also passed on to their children. Although many adults tend to think that children are busy with their games and that they do not realize how their parents feel, the reality is that children do feel very affected by the way their parents refer to themselves. When parents consider themselves a failure, are dissatisfied with their own lives, or look in the mirror with disgust, what they are doing is serving as a model (“I hate myself”) in the way their children will perceive themselves in the future.

Get Rid Of Self-Hated Permanently 

Once we have identified our inner critical voice and have understood how our relationships with our parents and significant others have been and what our defense mechanisms have been, we need to take one last step: what do we want for our own life? How do we want to live it? To the extent that we can get rid of our inner critical voice and the incessant destructive bombardment of “I hate myself” and “I hate my life,” we will be closer to knowing our authentic self. Furthermore, if we answer to ourselves, honestly and sincerely, about how we want to live our lives, it will be easier to decide what actions we need to carry out to make that happen. From that moment on, we will be able to stop feeling hatred for ourselves and we will live a fuller life. It’s not going to happen overnight, but each moment you are able to do the above counts. 

Have you been experiencing imposter syndrome lately or been feeling like a fraud? Does the feeling of self-hatred make itself known often, further dragging you down in a pit with it? Do you have trouble identifying your true worth? If your answer to all these questions is a resounding yes, then you must sign up for my weekly newsletter in which I share bitesize actionable strategies and powerful mindfulness techniques that you can practice today to leave behind  your insecurities and feelings of self-hatred.