“You are free and that is why you are lost.” Franz Kafka
Do you feel lost or stuck in your life? I have…many times and I have a 3-step system to getting you unstuck.
You might be surprised to know that feeling lost or stuck is due to lack of responsibility. It is your responsibility to take control of your life. This world provides no structure for us and that can be scary. At a deeper level, we are afraid of freedom. This produces an enormous amount of anxiety because we don’t want to make choices. I know what you might be thinking: “I don’t want to make choices? And that’s why I am stuck? In fact, I am stuck because I don’t have choices.”
Actually, the anxiety and disappointment you might feel in life is due to a hesitancy to assume authorship and responsibility of your own life. How many of us have applied to three jobs and secretly wished only the best one comes through? I have seen it again and again in my practice: the better the offers, the greater the anxiety. Imagine if all three jobs you applied to offer really competitive packages. Now there is no “best” choice. They all are equal in whatever criteria you have applied to finding a “great” job. You cannot blame the company, the HR manager, less pay, not-so-good benefits…the list goes on. Now you are responsible for the choice; the ownership is completely on you. Would you feel pressure? Most likely, you do because now you are in the driver’s seat and are responsible for the way your life turns out. If it goes downhill, you will be responsible. If it goes uphill, you will be responsible.
Jean-Paul Sartre said, “One is also entirely responsible for one’s life, not only for one’s actions but for one’s failures to act.” There is no external structure or life manual that comes with birth. We are free to be whomever we want to be, according to the existential thinking. Initially it is difficult for my clients to hear this because they don’t want to make wrong decisions. The fear of failure paralyzes them and their perfectionist tendencies take over. However, as they work with me and as we explore which specific fears and beliefs are holding them back, they realize they have to assume responsibility for and authorship over their life script. My role is to help clients create a script they are happy with, one that creates a sense of joy and ownership, not fear and passivity. After working with me, my clients are ready to be in the driver’s seat of their lives and welcome the control they have over it. Yes, it is possible to re-write your life script if you feel lost or stuck. There is a way out!!
What kind of life script are you writing for your life?
Here is the 3-step system to getting unstuck and to writing a positive script of your life:
1. Assume authorship over your life: First, you have to admit and believe that you are in control of your own life. Whatever is present in your life is because you have created it: intentionally or unintentionally.
2. Accepting what is: The next step is to accept what is. When you fight what is, you are denying it and rejecting it, and this keeps you stuck with what you don’t want. Swimming against the currents wastes time and energy. Accepting what is positions you to change the course instead of fighting the currents to go upstream. So, accept what is without judgment.
3. Take action: Now is the time to change the course of things. Exercise your choice. Make a decision without too much analysis of whether it is THE right choice or not. Each decision will lead you to somewhere instead of being stuck in one place—even if it is taking a step back. Sometimes it is wise to take a step back to gain a better view of the situation in order to move forward. So go within and take action.
Good luck!! Please share your thoughts and what has worked for you.