When we talk about becoming emotionally resilient, repressed emotions are an uninvited guest. This article will outline the repressed emotions that hinder your ability to pivot. We all have repressed emotions that we all unconsciously avoid. This is because certain emotions in our brain are wired to protect us from those memories for survival.
Anything too painful falls into the category of repressed emotions. These are different from suppressed emotions because suppressed emotions are unconsciously avoided. This is because you don’t know how to deal with them or are afraid of what might happen if you allow yourself to feel these emotions. For example, you may feel sad, mad, or even helpless.
Many people are afraid to express anger and choose to walk away because they are afraid they might hurt someone’s feelings if they express how they actually feel. Now that that’s all cleared up let’s move on to how they hinder your ability to pivot.
How Do Repressed Emotions Hinder You?
When emotions you’re unaware of catch you off guard and pull the rug from underneath your feet, you need to learn to do something to get back on your feet. You want to be aware of these emotions so they don’t keep catching you off guard.
You may be wondering, how do I know if I have repressed emotions? When you feel sad, agitated, or anxious for no reason, meaning you don’t know why you’re feeling the emotions you are, your logical mind cannot grasp or have a reason for these feelings.
Most of the time, they show up unannounced as sadness, not feeling in control, not satisfied with life, and not living life to the fullest. These types of days or moments are likely to come from repressed emotions. Even though it will uncomfortable to come to the surface, you need them to come out. This is so you can process and let go of these repressed emotions.
Talk With Someone You Trust
My first suggestion is to talk to someone who you trust about your struggles and feelings with. We can easily justify our feelings when we feel in control because we know what we’re doing. But the feelings that don’t make sense can be very scary and confusing, so talking to someone helps.
You don’t have to keep it all in. I know it can be scary to talk to someone about something so private because you don’t want to risk more judgment than you are already putting on yourself. Because I’ve been there and done that. But, I still encourage you to take the lead and leap anyway.
Emotional resiliency is all about learning to be vulnerable and loving the person you are! No matter how many mistakes you have made in your past or will make in the future. Talk about your fears and insecurities to this one person. You need to be able to put stuff outside your brain and have it reflected at you. Make sure the person you confide in can be non-judgemental about the things you want to share. Also, you may want someone removed from the situation.
For example, I have a friend with whom I can talk about my drama. She is very empathetic and takes the time to listen and comfort me, even when I sound unreasonable. And she is so far removed from Indian society that I have no fear of spilling my guts to her. I talked to her about what I needed to do safely, and I am not afraid to be vulnerable because I can just be me when we talk. When we talk, I do not need to worry about how much I can share or worry about having a filter with her. She even does the same with me now.
Another element we share is the topic of spirituality and inner work. So we know where we see so we can help each other grow, and we don’t just gossip about things. We talk once every six months, sometimes even longer. And we both know we have this sacred bond and can reach out to each other when we need each other.
If you don’t have anyone like that in your life right now, it’s okay because there is another solution. But before I share that, please dig deeper because I bet you have people in your life who are willing to support you as my friend does for me. The intention here is to grow and develop, not just venting sessions and burning each other out. There needs to be action behind your talks to improve.
Journal Your Feelings Out
The second solution is to journal. It’s my other favorite solution for sorting out my thoughts. This is because my feelings get tangled very easily. This process allows me to purge all of my deepest and inner thoughts and process them.
I can’t rest until I sort things out in my head and get it on paper. So journaling about the things that bother you, hurt you, or just about anything can help. When you journal, you can gain clarity. It even gives you the ability to bounce back quickly.
Remember that emotional resiliency is all about growth. It is a growth mindset to not repeat what hurts or disappoints you. You can also start building that mindset and go on a journey to bounce back. To check out this topic more in-depth, check out my video here.