Emotional resiliency takes time and effort. You just don’t wake up emotionally resilient one day. It is a skill that is mindfully acquired and practiced often so you can get good at it. But how does one build emotional resiliency? Being emotionally resilient is about your ability to bounce back from a crisis or difficult situation. In this article, you will learn about Dr. Ginsburg’s 7 C’s of being resilient and how you can apply them in your daily life so you can become emotionally resilient.
Dr. Ginsburg is a pediatrician and human development expert who developed the 7 c’s. The 7 c’s are all about being resilient. His research includes competency, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control. This article will outline each of them, how they can play a role in your life, and what you can do to enhance each of these skill sets. Let’s dive in.
Competence is all about knowing how to acquire the needed skills and then putting them into practice. You learn new skills and practice them during tough situations. From there, get some feedback on what happened and what didn’t go so well for you. At this point, it’s all about the feedback.
You may have to face some fears that you’re avoiding. When talking about competency, we should think, “this is bugging me, and I am going to confront it.” But rather than the opposite happens, we tend to avoid it or dodge our fears.
People tend to think the problem may go away if you can avoid it long enough. But that is not the case. It tends to keep getting bigger and bigger. Research shows to gain competency; you will first have to face some fears and confront some people. You may not succeed at first, but the more you practice, the better you’ll become.
Confidence comes into play. This is believing in your competence or abilities, such as knowing what you’re doing in certain situations. You may know what you’re doing at work, so you are confident sitting in those meetings.
However, personal things may pile up because you never acquired the skills to cope. You learn how to avoid them or confront them based on loved ones or your parents. Confidence is the confidence that comes with competence.
Connection is vital for all of us because we are social beings, and it’s how we will be fulfilled. We like to have assurance and approval from others. But what we really need is unconditional positive regard, and it can come from within us. During our upbringing, we are supposed to receive connections from our parents.
Additionally, we cannot just cut off people from our lives and avoid conflicts with other people. It will not make our lives easier but will make our lives much harder.
Character means sticking to your values and beliefs. But before doing so, you need to know your values and beliefs. This will require some introspection and self-reflection. This is part of building resiliency because you stand up for what matters to you to gain the confidence you need.
Standing up with yourself and whatever matters to you and building your self-worth. This, in turn, will help you be respectful to your own self. So you are accountable to yourself; that is building character.
Contribution to society, family, and the world simultaneously creates the feeling of purpose and meaning. The caveat here is that your cup needs to be full before giving away anything. You cannot give away what you don’t have.
The contribution makes you a more resilient person. But there is an underneath layer of it that you must know how to fill your cup.
Coping is very closely related to competency. This means you are gaining skills and practicing getting feedback. Then you go back into the world and practice some more. Coping is all about reducing the negative emotional responses related to everyday stress.
The last C is control. It is all about feeling in control. As long as you feel in control, you are probably in good emotional health.
To learn more about the 7 c’s check out my video here.