How can being prideful hurt you and your emotional resiliency? Unhealthy pride can. It can also keep you away from your goal of living each day to the fullest. This can be a sensitive topic and I will try my best to point out unhealthy pride that can get in the way of your emotional freedom.
Being proud of yourself and achievements can be a sign of healthy self-worth. However, pride also has a way of keeping you stuck in a vicious cycle of negative mindset.
As a perfectionist, I know you wear your pride like a badge of honor, which can get in the way of emotional freedom. But you really have that badge for peace of mind.
Throughout this blog post, I want you to be really honest with yourself as we go through these examples. That way, you can decide what is really servicing you.
What is Pride?
Pride can be defined as the feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements. Or even someone related to or associated with them, such as a parent, would be of their child’s work.
Why is it even important to assess if our pride level is healthy or not? Let’s look at the research- it indicates there are two different types of pride. One type is healthy, and the other is not.
Healthy pride is grounded in being proud of your achievements and successes, all within humility. Humility is being free from pride or arrogance- it’s the act of being humble. The research mentions it as being proud or confident, and I’ll show you what that looks like.
On the other hand, unhealthy pride is actually low self-worth and is driven by shame. That’s when you would be critical or judgemental of others and yourself, but mainly of others to feel proud of yourself.
Most of the time, we think of people who are arrogant or haughty when we think of being prideful. Yet, pride gets us all. It can really ruin your positive state of mind. This can especially happen when you’re trying to be easy loving and non-judgemental to yourself.
I consider myself a humble person, and I know being prideful is dangerous. In the back of my head, it’s talked about in a religious context as well. In Christianity, it is one of the seven sins. I would constantly be mindful not to sound to arrogant or obviously prideful. And if you knew me you would know I am not prideful.
Is Pride Good or Bad?
You start to measure your own self-worth with your achievements, and this is where the danger starts. This is because your achievement becomes your entire self-worth- the measuring stick for yourself.
That type of pride can ruin your relationships. An example from my personal life is sometimes when cleaning the bathroom, my husband cannot meet her standards. This does not make him less of a person because it.
Your pride isn’t doing you any favors. It is simply not healthy for your emotional well-being. It just isn’t you have to let go of your pride. It’s getting in the way of your relationships and emotional well-being. You should still be proud of yourself but in a healthy way.
When I came home every day from my master’s program, I would look myself in the mirror and say, “today was a good day, and I’m proud of you.” That was building and feeding that inner child that needed unconditional, positive regard.
Subtle Signs of Pride
There are some subtle signs of pride that may be running your life.
Not Asking for Help
One is being too proud to ask for help and being independent are two different things. You, your loved ones, or even your kids can suffer if you don’t ask for help.
Don’t do that, you need to ask for help. Your pride is more than your emotional well-being. That is going to serve you more than trying to do it all on your own, resulting in you being hurt and frustrated.
I have clients who are trying to do everything themselves and end up being overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed. But no matter what, they will not ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Disregarding Others’ Advice
Another sign is constantly disregarding other people’s advice. That’s running your emotional resiliency, so be aware when someone is sharing their experience, you should take it away and consider it. You do not have to apply it but at least hear them out. But if you can’t even hear them out, that may be a subtle sign of pride.
Being Too Critical
Another sign is being too critical of others or judging them so you can feel better about yourself. That means your pride is present in that moment. This could also be all unconscious and you need to become aware of it.
Also, be aware of your need for attention. If you’re constantly needing attention from others or need to be praised for all that you’re doing, then pride is there. This one may feel like it’s grounded in low self-esteem or low self-work because you’re constantly looking for that affirmation. Yet, it is still wrapped in pride.
Another sign you’re wrapped in pride is that you’re not teachable. If someone is sharing their experience with you and suggesting you do something different because you’re in a similar situation, your pride may be in the way.
Additionally, if you can’t receive constructive criticism you may be wrapped in pride. If you struggle with people providing helpful feedback about your life, and you immediately shut them down, you have pride. What others think of you can ruin your emotional health or well-being! It will get you off track pretty easily.
Lastly, another sign of pride is blocking communication. If you blow people off, don’t respond to them, and minimize the importance of that person in your head that is your pride talking. These unhealthy patterns may merge into anxiety or depression as pride is rooted in perfectionism.
Pride can hurt your emotional resiliency and keep you away from your goals. This article outlined what pride is, the different types of pride, and pride’s subtle signs. To check out this topic more in-depth, check out my video here.
I also created a worksheet so you can put these techniques to practice right away. Click here to access Let Go of Being Prideful Worksheet.